Trapped

It is a silent feeling that wells up within us.

Because we all fall prey to the idea that we are alone.

No matter how many friends you have, how many social gatherings you attend in a day, or how busy your schedule is, you can still be alone. Because loneliness is not a state of being. It's a state of mind.

It's a state of mind because we can't find our place in life. And no matter how much someone else tells you they need you in their lives, it doesn't hit home. Sometimes, not even an It's a Wonderful Life moment will help, because you're just not sure where you belong -- really.

You might even have friends -- good friends -- who know your story inside and out and have helped you along. They know what makes you laugh and finish your sentences.

But on the nights when you don't even know how to voice what you feel, what do you say? You just don't.

 

And an emptiness gnaws at you. When you feel trapped in this space of life. When you feel trapped in a rhythm. That is why people long to explore. Long to adventure. Long to travel. Because, just for a few moments, they want to escape this pit. 

And it claims so many victims. The rich, the poor. The young, the old. We want to break free, somehow. We want to be understood perfectly. We want to be loved perfectly. We want to be fulfilled.

And I am here to tell you that you should never, ever hope to find something or some person who fills that empty feeling up.

But there is Someone.

We can be fulfilled.

But it is not by a airplane ticket. It is not by the plan of tomorrow. It is not by your spouse. It is not by your children. It is not by your education.  

El Shaddai. The Creator of the Universe. The Ancient of Days. 

There is Someone.

And late in the evening, when the midnight oil burns and the questions plague your mind, He is the only one with you.

Where do I really belong? You belong following Me. You belong as a child of God. You belong as an instrument of My glory. You belong to extend my Love, my Hope, my Healing. 

What is my purpose? I placed a purpose on you from before time began. I made you in my Image. 

Who really understands? I understand your thoughts better than you possibly could. What you can't say, I know. 

It doesn't always seem comforting. To know that the Creator of the World, the Ancient of Days, is the only One who can possibly understand the pit of loneliness.

And then I remember that He must have felt it more acutely than I could ever dream of knowing it.

To come to earth after knowing Heaven. After having created Heaven. And who did He go to, to have those deep, heartfelt talks? On various occasions, He told his disciples what was to come -- who He was. But none of them got it. To be burdened with the weight of the world and have no one to turn to?

But He did have someone to turn to.

We are flooded with instances in the gospels when Jesus went and prayed.

To the only One who understood.

He is here in the hard moments. 

He is here when what seems to be your entire world comes crashing down.

When friendships die. 

When the money's run dry. 

When the day is unfulfilled. 

He is our life.

And when we turn to something else and make it our life, we break our own hearts.